Two weeks ago: ((Memorial Day Weekend)) We were in the car headed to another sunny day filled with giggles and splashes in the shallow waves of the gulf. Lance was driving, the kids were sleeping, and I was thumbing through loads of happy mommies posting to instagram when a song came on the radio that scorched my heart.
As I fell into that familar daze, I felt a strong hand stretch across my lap to hold my own.
The song wasn’t sappy. It wasn’t sad…honestly it had nothing to do with the actual song. Though, a new memory that was triggered because of it. I remember blaring it from my car with the windows down as I dragged Justin and Caitlin to the pool. That small memory took me back to another kind of happiness. A feeling of summer and freedom. But mostly, the feeling of fullness that I didn’t even recognize until it was gone. Life before grief. I missed everything that was.. and our sweet Lord- he has provided for my heart! He gifts me with family and friends that support me and guide me through the storm. Even still, theres a sting for everything that will never be. And I had a reminder of the life we shared… And truly all I want is to relive one of those days. .
Being from Alabama, I could remember a life spent WAITING for summer trips to these beaches. It’s our place. FAR from my husbands’, but he takes the kids and I nearly every week. He’s a good one. Living here and soaking up this salty air has been a beautiful bandaid for such a deep wound. The wound wont fade, and though my core bleeds, I pray these memories never do either.